7670 days ago

6796 days ago, originally uploaded by pejnolan.
Or 21 years, 662,688,000 seconds, 11,044,800 minutes, 184,080 hours, or 1095 weeks ago…

I married my best friend. Over the years we have changed both physically, spiritually, emotionally and mentally. I have let him down in may ways and he has let me down as well, yet we are still together.

Sometimes I ask myself, "why?" The answer is there was something we both just knew since the moment we met. We belong together. Our lives have intertwined, yet we are completely different people. We don't think alike and since we are both strong, independent people. That creates conflict in both the small inconsequential moments in life as well as the major decisions.

That doesn’t mean that we’ve failed, or we have a bad marriage, it’s just the reality of relationships. It has taken me quite some time to come to that conclusion. Everyone has a picture of the happy marriage. You know, Rob and Laura Petrie or the Brady's - always understanding, always patient, always loving. Well guess what, folks? Those were TV shows. That ain't the real world.

I've found marriage is a balancing act where the needs of an individual are supposed to be met without detriment to the unity of the couple. It is a great challenge. It easily tips first one way and to the other. Disagreements are bound to happen. Those periods of harmony and then discord are woven into a rich blanket of shared history. Gratefully time mellows and softens that blanket until it is warm and comforting thing to have–especially that we are getting older.

Accepting one another as human beings, with all the frailties that implies, is when the excitement one feels when first in love changes to a mature love. Life isn't perfect, love is. 


starkeyart said...

Congrats, Erin! Nice, what you said about marriage. It would have been 21 years for me as well next month but we couldn't make it past those rough times.
Take Care,

gennagem said...

Very lovely picture of you Erin - I see Jacob in you with this photo. I especially enjoyed reading your marriage introspective, very thoughtful, gentle, warm and sincere. Your words embrace the true experience of marriage nicely!